Never Mind the Clean Undies

When I was about 18, like most girls that age, my friend Marg and I loved clothes, shoes, nightclubs, our first cars and boys.

In no particular order.

We also loved to drive around on most weeknights in our clapped-out cars to gossip about all of the above.

One evening, I was standing on my bed to get a better look at myself in the mirror. I was working out what to wear that coming weekend to Tiffany’s Nightclub. I had pretty much decided on the dress; a very bright, multicoloured halter neck, but I just wasn’t quite sure about which shoes to choose.

At the time I was really into the brand ‘Mr Christian’. They had the most beautiful shoes in a range of amazing colours. I loved a couple of their designs so much that I bought several pairs in a few different colours.

What to wear with this dress?

The red sling backs with the chunky heel or the bright green flats?

Solution. I’m a genius! Put the dress on and then put on one red shoe and one green shoe and stand on tippy toes to reach the mirror and see which one would go best. Best to get me a boyfriend was most likely what I was really thinking.

Mum called out that Marg was waiting in the car out front. I’d lost track of time. We were heading out for our regular cruise about town. Not wanting to keep her waiting, and knowing we weren’t planning to get out of the car, I left the house dressed as I was.

Besides, Marg could give me the much-needed second opinion.

‘I just need to get some petrol,’ she said.

We pulled up at the service station and wouldn’t you know it, the fire truck from the local fire station was there.

Why do firemen have to be so damn hot?

In my haste to get a closer look, I jumped out of the car and positioned myself where they could also get a better look at me.

I suddenly realised what I had done. There I was standing out there in the open with my two completely different shoes on.

I quickly jumped back into Marg’s car and tried to pretend like nothing had happened.

It occurred to me that if we were in an accident and the good-looking firemen were required to facilitate my rescue, they could quite easily assume they were dealing with two bodies.

‘We’ve got two in here!’ I imagined them shouting so they could get some back-up.

Never mind the clean undies, I say. Just make sure you’re always wearing a matching pair of shoes.